ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
