i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize