You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
