so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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