Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
