I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
