what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
