He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
