I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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