oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
