He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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