i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize