A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
