The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
