First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
