I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
