I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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