she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
