how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
