Its about making memories worth repressing
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
