What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
