So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Randomize