Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
