but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
