yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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