i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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