dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize