You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
