He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just had sex on a roof
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
