i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize