Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
