I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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