I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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