you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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