You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
