Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
