What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
