She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
