mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
