I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
