there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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