why didn't you poke me back
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
false alarm, still single
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
