I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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