okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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