I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
