He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize