I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
