everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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