smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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