i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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