he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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