the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
