I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
