i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
