i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
