this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
