So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
