we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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