we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
