xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
