And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize