He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a beard to bite.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
